Dad Talks Birth & Breastfeeding

Published December 14, 2012 under Blog

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dressed-up mom baby and dad

Editor’s Note:  Thank you to Abraham Dueñas, who first shared this story with us in 2010.  His story, like so many others, is timeless, and so we share it again today.  Thank you to all the dads out there for the love and support you show your families ~ Happy Father’s Day!

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My name is Abraham Dueñas.  I have one daughter.  Her name is Sarai Ishabel Dueñas.  She turned 1 on the 25th of May.  My wife is still breastfeeding to this date.  She jokes that she’ll keep doing it cause she loves it so much.

You know, at first I didn’t know if I could handle attending my daughter’s birth, but thanks to the urging I got from my Mom, I decided to be there, and I have to say, I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world.  Since the moment I knew my wife was pregnant, I could see the connection she had with our daughter.  It’s only natural.  I mean, you have someone growing day by day inside you.  As I saw that, I couldn’t help but feel – hey! – When am I going to experience that sort of connection to my baby?  I thought, maybe when I hear her heartbeat or when I see the ultrasound. Even though those were great moments, I just didn’t get that feeling I was waiting for, you know, that – hey! – You’re a daddy now.

Well I’m telling you, when I was able to see my daughter come into this world,  and after hearing her first cry, it was like this switch inside my heart was flipped, and it was then that I could feel what I had been looking for, that connection, that sense of responsibility, everything. I was just so overcome with happiness, I cried uncontrollably.  It really surprised me.  I don’t think I ever understood what people meant when they say they cried out of happiness, but I did that day.  I did the moment she was born.

When I first held my daughter, well I finally understood what my parents had always said to me: “Just wait, you’ll have your own some day.  Then you will understand.”  I don’t think I ever really did understand what they meant, not until I held my very own in my arms.  I understood that they really would have given their lives gladly in favor of mine. I understood that they really would have given me everything if they could even though it sometimes seemed they didn’t, and that they really would love me no matter what.

I couldn’t have been happier about my wife breastfeeding.  I really didn’t know the full benefits of her choosing to do so, but I’ve always thought that if that is what our bodies are meant to do, then it has to be good.  To support her, I made sure she always had plenty of fenugreek, and planned out the logistics for her to have privacy whenever we went out.  I also fed our daughter breast milk from the bottle whenever my wife could not be around.

To a new father, first I’d say that just because breastfeeding is not popular, doesn’t mean it’s not the best solution for your baby.  Ask yourself why is it not the popular choice, what are the benefits?  What do studies show? Basically, do some research.  A lot of people do research on what they put into their bodies.  A good father would never allow their 3 year old to have a steady diet of junk food.  Fathers shouldn’t wait ‘til they‘re 3 years old to make those decisions.  Start now.  Do some research.  Remember that our children rely on us as parents to make the best decisions for them.

I think the best thing about being a father is just watching them develop.  I never could imagine how such an addition can bring so much into our lives.  They entertain, they make us cry, help us relieve stress.  They truly are the greatest gift.

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